There’s nothing cool about kitsch, or is there?
Car snobs like to come across as having particular attitudes and tastes – cool, classic, etc. But in their heart of hearts, even they have a soft spot for certain kitschy items that bring some light-hearted quirkiness to the car snob’s orbit. Below are 5 novelty car-related gifts that car snobs would probably never admit they secretly love.
Diecast Model Cars
Impressively intricate in their look and feel, diecast models were once only for serious collectors, but when low-cost versions flooded the market they moved from collectors’ items to toys. This is not to say they’re not still awesome. There are both cheaper and more high-end versions available of the exclusive supercars and vintage rides that many of us wish we had living in our Jay Leno-sized garages. Honestly, what’s not to like about having your dream fleet on a shelf, even if it’s a shelf hidden in a closet, away from the prying eyes of other car snobs?
Tacky Car Carnage in Entertainment
In the confines of our real lives, no car collector wants to see harm come to a perfectly good car, especially if it’s a classic, just for entertainment purposes. In movies and TV? Well that’s a different story. There is something truly satisfying about the works of H.B. Halicki (Junkman, Deadline: Auto Theft and the original Gone in 60 Seconds) or the shenanigans of Bo & Luke Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard. What about the Mad Max movies, Talladega Nights or the Fast & Furious franchise? Maybe you’re into vintage cheese with classics like Cannonball Run or Smokey and the Bandit. You could have an entire (hidden, shameful) cabinet devoted to these movies and TV shows without emptying your wallet!
Here’s the deal. If you have fuzzy dice hanging from your rear view mirror, it tells the world that you have such a level of confidence in yourself and your choices, you are an inherently cool person. In the immortal words of Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, “Whatever I choose is cool because I am cool.” There’s no place for shame in the fuzzy dice game.
Custom Shift Knobs
True car enthusiasts don’t mess around with automatic cars. Period. Except when they do. Sometimes, to get the car you desire, you have to accept that it means driving an automatic. Life’s about compromise. That said, if you’re going to drive an automatic, do it on your terms and get yourself a custom shift knob. Do you enjoy beer and want your passengers to GD know it? Get a crushed beer can shift knob. Are you a secret goth? Why not shift gears with a skull? Whether you enjoy the occasional game of pool or you are a GI Joe villain, this is your chance to do automatic the right way.
Dashboard Hula Girl
Rivaling fuzzy dice as the ultimate kitsch for your car, the dashboard hula girl is a great accessory for car snobs (and non-car snobs), thanks to her vintage appeal that has delighted drivers for more than 60 years. She brings a special kind of whimsy, and the relaxed vibes that you can only get when channeling Hawaii, to any vehicle she rides in. Get her with a ukulele or without, just make sure she brings that fun wiggle and display her proudly on your dash.